This morning i could barely open my eyes, i was or should i say am so tired. Driving back from dropping my little ones at school, i almost fell asleep at the wheel, something I've never experienced. I seriously need to go to bed at a decent time.
Last night while laying in my bed unable to shut the noise in my head, i was determined to get my priorities in line with God's will. Lately I've been slacking on my time with God, I've been preoccupied with non sense that should never take God's place in my life. As a result, I've experienced some sadness and worries.
I am sad because for some reason or another humans ultimately let us down. Have you ever felt used? yeah, and abused like a old rag, well sometimes i feel like that. Or better yet unappreciated, have you ever felt like that? I found myself dwelling on these feelings recently and yesterday i was so upset with myself for setting my hope and trust on others instead of seeking counsel and comfort from God at all time for everything. I know sometimes things happen so we grow, but the bad taste you get from it to me, is unnecessary. Let me tell you a little something about me, i am such a goof for love is crazy. I want everyone and everything to always be good. I am quick to forgive and forget, and i love me like that. i just have to stop letting people take advantage of that. Is easy for someone to open themselves to you when they are going through trials, but the minute the storm pass they forget where they stood not to long ago. They are quick to forget who was there suffering, praying, laughing with them and sometimes they act like they never knew you. Now ask yourself this question, when you are helping someone are you doing it for human recognition or for God to be glorified (uhm this one makes one think). See, i was hurt because i let God use me and in the end He got the glory, while i got the boot. But the boot from who God? nope, humans yes. So i ask what really matters?
ANSWER; God's will to be done and for HIM to get all glory and honor.
today i set my priorities straight and say
Lord here i am, use me again in anything you need... Sometimes i will not understand it, yet in due time you reveal it all to those who love and seek you. Help me understand i am not here to please people but you. And even if they never acknowledge what you do for them, you do, and that is all that matters.