It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
Everytime i read this Bible verse i get a slap in the face reminder as to what i should not be like. But as we know we all fall short sometimes. Not too long ago, i was experiencing so much stress in my life that i lost sight of what i should and should not do, and gave into my feelings (you know that thing that can toss you back and forth like the waves if you don't take hold of it).
I found myself yelling like a coo coo lady at my kids and being very rude and dis respectful towards my husband. I promise i didn't do this intentionally, i just really didn't care at the moment because i was too busy catering my poor me feelings. As i sit here, i am thinking well sometimes we must go through certain things so that we learn, grow and appreciate what we have, but in this case i don't feel like that, for most part I feel shame and conviction.
I am ashame of this persona i exposed my family to and convicted because i already know this kind of behavior is wrong, and there's not if or but, is wrong. I can say i learned a few things from the struggles i went through, they've not gone away, but through God's guidance i have taken control of my feelings.
Through the storm i'm learning to be more sensitive towards others. "Playing the Holy Spirit" in other people's lives is too often a popular Christian pastime for Christians. We put minding another's conscience and behavior on our daily to-do list. The story of Job is a good example of that- God was working in Job's life, and his friends instead of being loving and compassionate towards him- they assumed he had done something terribly wrong to deserve what he was going through, and instead condemned themselves through judgement. Lord Help us be more like you and understand we are not perfect...
I've asked God to forgive me, and of course apologized to my family as well. God willing i never have to go through it again, but if i come close to it, i will remember this season in my life and the pain i felt greaving God and my family.